what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
