his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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