The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
