Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
