so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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