I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
