so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
