i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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