Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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