The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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