Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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