i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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