can u get pink eye on your cock?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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