Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
