He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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