I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
