the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I love you. Go after that dick
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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