never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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