I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
