you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
