The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she pinky promised me she was 18
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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