what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
