dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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