Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Randomize
