we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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