So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
