She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
