Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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