Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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