I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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