i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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