Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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