he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
