I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
