Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
