Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
