Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
