is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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