i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
