i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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