How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize