So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
