I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
