This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
