She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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