why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
