now i know why i became what i already was.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Randomize
