But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
