Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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