Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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