just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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