He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
