if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
