At least make sure they are 18
Why
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
