Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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