I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
