Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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