you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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