this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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