so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
