He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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