ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Randomize
