I wish my penis had an off switch
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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