Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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