I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
no you cant smoke seaweed
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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