Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize