That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize